Thursday, July 26th, 2018
This is the beginning of the end for the World's Bestest Ever Psychiatric Service Dog, who also helped me with Mobility and Medical Alerts.
Dakota is not well. She has several physical injuries and allergies. Medication helps her, but she will never overcome these problems. She has returned the keyboard to my "silver machine" in order that I may take over the typing. Since this is my first entry, allow me to introduce myself...
I am a 65 year old white woman, mentally & physically "challenged". I've had Dakota since she turned 3 in 2009. I live in a little Community in Sacramento County, California. After running away from home, I joined the Army (USA MEDDAC), took Criminal Justice Classes during the day, since I worked the swing and graveyard shifts alone. I did well and got all "Excellent"s on my yearly Evaluations and straight A's in the Community College. Once I had left home and made a life for myself, I really flourished. The Army gave me a ton of responsibility which I thrived on, and the Criminal Justice classes were fascinating.
When I left the Army, I moved to Iowa to be with my boyfriend. It was there that I entered the Law Enforcement field - a total of 28.5 years, from both sides of the mic. I had a blast! I followed one thing from the Academy with me for my whole career: "No one wants to lose their freedom. Only arrest someone as a last resort." I followed that bit of advice with me forever. I still made plenty of arrests for crimes in progress or warrants or drunk driving, etc. But in spite of all the arrests, I only had to go to court twice in those years. The Information's I wrote handed the Prosecutor's exactly what they needed, gave the Defense/Public Defender's Office enough to see they would not be able to win the case, so they all pled guilty - sure made my life easy!
I'm wandering off the main topic because I don't want to face it... Dakota cannot live forever, nor even as long as I probably will. I cannot save her. There is nothing I can do to save her - I can only medicate, massage, meditate and pray that she wakes up the next morning and can spend that one day with me.
I simply cannot imagine life without her. I can't do anything without her at my side. Many have told me I should have, should now, get a puppy or another dog and start training it to replace Kota before she crosses so I won't be without a Psychiatric Service Dog. I have consistently refused and will not change my mind, regardless of the detriment to myself.
On the 2 1/2 hour drive home with Dakota (when I first met her & asked to take her home for a 2 month trial period) I had told Dakota all the things I wanted her to do for me. Seat belted behind me, she lay there the whole ride with her hear up and ears perked at me as I talked the entire trip home. I told everything I was afraid of. I told her all the things I wanted to do. I told her how much help she could be to me if she wished to work for me. In return, when she could no longer work or no longer wanted to work, that I would care for her the best I could for the rest of her natural life and never bring another dog into the house to replace her.
I have & I will keep that promise.
So that's where we are now. I'm doing my damnedest to hold up my end of the promise. I pray that Dakota understands that. I pray she knows just how much I love her. I pray she knows how she has saved my life. I pray she understands that it was SHE who GAVE me a life. I will do my best at going on and keeping on...
Deb, for Kalifornia Kota
